the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
