I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
