Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize