You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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