I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
