I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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