I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
