i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize