He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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