I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I've blown a few things in my day
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
