Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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