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• (205): View more from Alabama

  woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.

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• (510): View more from California

  Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed

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• (206): View more from Washington

  We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.

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• (243): View more from

  We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.

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• (830): View more from Texas

  I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.

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• (925): View more from California

  Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I love you but I don't want to see you naked.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  can you please not set my house on fire for once???

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!

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