Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize