He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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