well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
