Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Come back. Shots need mouths.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
