I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
