So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
