He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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