Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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