just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
