i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
