so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
