Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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