My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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