the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
