none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
