you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
