So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize