guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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