Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
