so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i now understand why vodka
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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