there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
Thereās an entire generation of people out there who didnāt grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
