didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
