Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
