So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
