Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
