You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
