Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize