so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I supernannyed him into submission
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
