she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
A bitchslap is in order.
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