Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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