Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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