the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
