Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My life is pants optional.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
