i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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