One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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