Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
how drunk are you?
Several
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
