Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
