but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Hippo gnu deer
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
