I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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