are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My feet surprised me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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