This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize