Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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