For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
