yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
