I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
