I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
