:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
