Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just invented taco cereal.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize