My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
