I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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