road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
