You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize