I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
