This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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