I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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